Studied by 2 peoplescene 1: (1-3) scene 4: (4-15) scene 6: (16-30) scene 10: (31-36) scene 13:(37-55)
STEVE: did someone say my name?
steve harrington, what are you doing here? oh my goshhhh
STEVE: is that your mom?
oh no, steve, this is my best friend barb
STEVE: yeah yeah, whatever. so, we gonna study or what?
we can do whatever you want steve harrington
START OF SCENE 4
i cant believe we’re going to a party at THE steve harringtons!!
BARB: ooh, he’s really a ‘the’? wow…
yeah! i heard he only invited like three people. so that means…we’re in! i bet you’re so happy you’re friends with me
BARB: i thank joseph smith everday
oh my gosh, barb, do you see that?
BARB: what? where?!
out there in the woods! there’s something moving around!…is that jonathan byers taking pictures in the woods?
JONATHAN: ….hey.
ugh he’s such a freak…what?
BARB: you know nance… i’m like so happy for you and everything but-
i know right? all of my wildest dreams are coming true!
STEVE: did you bring a jehovas witness?
oh no steve-this is my best friend remember?
BARB: haha, you’re so funny steve... it’s—it’s barb—i’ve said it a couple—umm—you know what? actually yeah, it’s boob! call me boob. whatever!
you’re so funny steve harringtonnnn
STEVE: mmm yeah baby, call me by my full name
steveee
STEVE: oh yeah come oh
harringtonnn
BARB: nancy, hold on. you’re not gonna... you know... lie with him, are you?
eeww no, of course not! we’re just gonna, i don’t know, study?
BARB: at a party...? ...well, uh, just promise you’ll use protection.
oh don’t worry barb, it’s a safe neighborhood!
START OF SCENE 6
i just don’t know where she could’ve gone — i’ve looked everywhere! the library, the swap meet, aunt fanny’s discount mom jeans...
STEVE: what’s wrong with you?
my best friend barb is missing! ugh, you don’t care about my feelings at all steve harrington.
STEVE: umm i do care about your feelings! i just don’t get why you need to have more than like one.
oh my god i literally can’t
STEVE: do you wanna have sex and talk about it?
i never want to speak to you again!
STEVE: soooo... does that mean your friend molly ringwald is fair game now?
goodbye steve… BARB? BARBB?!?
JONATHAN: WILLL????
johnathan byers what are you doing out in the woods in the middle of the night?
JONATHAN: im looking for my brother, will. he went missing yesterday, and i don’t know where-
your brother went missing?? oh my gosh, that’s horrible! let me help you find him!
JONATHAN: wow really, thanks!
of course! this is important! he’s your only brother! we have to find will!
JONATHAN: but what about your best friend barb?
WILL??… you know i’m really glad you’re here, steve and i just had a fight, and im feeling kinda vulnerable right now
JONATHAN: oh. actually, i think im gonna go.
what? you just got here?
JONATHAN: yeah i know, but i’m an INFP and i’m already exhausted by this interaction.
wait! has anybody told you that your “brooding loner” vibe is kinda... cute?
JONATHAN: …what?
i-i-uhhh
JONATHAN: you’re still into him?
no of course not! he’s a total wastoid!
JONATHAN: it’s his hair, isn’t it. that’s a turn on.
its just so…big
JONATHAN: and mine is what, flat?
i was going to say flaccid but... anyways, we can’t talk about this right now, we need to find will before it’s too late!…. WHAT WAS THAT?
STEVE: ahoy ladies-why don’t you sail on over here and i’ll show you my banana boat?
you are the salt of the earth, harrington
STEVE: how about a frosty freeze for those double d’s
girls really fall for that shit?
STEVE: totally, chicks love being told how hot they are
hmmm i dont
STEVE: you would if you actually had boobies…
alright, well when you’re done being a douche-asaurus, i’ll be in the back sorting all the cases of new coke that no one wants to buy
STEVE: hey.. uh, robin?
yeah steve?
STEVE: you’re umm… a strong confident, beautiful grunge goddess, and i would love to get to know your incredible mind. can i take you out to dinner tonight?
oh wow steve… i’m gay
JONATHAN: right time to kill this monster and get my brother back, sticky stairs?
check!
JONATHAN: swinging bowling ball?
check!
JONATHAN: floor covered in legos?
check!
JONATHAN: AHHHH THERE IT IS
WHY IS ITS FACE SO WEIRD
JONATHAN: ITS COMING TOWARDS US WHAT DO WE DO??
JONATHAN KILL IT
JONATHAN: YOU KILL IT
YOURE SUPPOSED TO DO IT YOURE THE MAN
JONATHAN: THATS A REDUCTIVE STEREOTYPE
ITS 1983 OF COURSE ITS REDUCTIVE
JONATHAN: GENDER ROLES ARE A SOCIETAL CONSTRUCT
JUST DO SOMETHING
JONATHAN: IT DIDNG DO ANYTHING
YOURE A DISAPOINTMENT… AHHHHHH
BARB: are you the keymaster?
barb? what are you-
BARB: that’s right who is that? could that be the poor barb holland for the throwaway plot device who not one person thought to look for?
barb no?! we just got busy and figured you died or something
BARB: oh him you don’t need to worry about him. this is my boyfriend, the demogorgan!
what.
BARB: hey hey hey he’s not an asshole you’re the real asshole nancy wheeler first you ditch me at steve’s party then you forget about me when i disappear and now you go on like nothing happened?
oh my gosh barb, why are you being so weird?
END OF BARBS TURN
oh my gosh barb, i didn’t know… that you could sing like that! girl you are fierce!!
JONATHAN: nancy did you really mean it when you said im a disappointment
no, jonathan, of course not! i just said it in the moment, it meant nothing!
JONATHAN: because i know i’m not your typical he-man jock type, but i do have a decent rock tenor with a nice growl
you do! and it’s totally hot!
JONATHAN: wait, you think I’m hot? babe. this is the first time you’ve affirmed me as your sexual preference!
oh babe you are like george micheal hot!
JONATHAN: wow.. i think i wanna WHAM you right here
mmm why don’t you wake me up before you go-go?
JONATHAN: my moms got it!
sorry barb cya later!
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