Pride and Prejudice: by Jon Jory

Kitty: And sing most charmingly… well I do

My dear Mr. Bennet

Mr Bennet: Mrs Bennet, to be sure

My dear Mr Bennet, Have you heard that netherfield park is let at last

Mr Bennet: I have not

But it is, for Mrs. Long has just been there and she told me all about it

Lydia: Probaboly an elderly bachelor with a King Charles spaniel

Indeed Mr Bennet, do not you want to know who has taken it?

Mr BennerT: You want to tell me and I have no objection to hearing it

Mrs. Long says that netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune

Kitty": Really?

That he came down on monday and was so delighted with it that he is to take possession before michealmas

Mr Bennett: We might first enquire of the Gentleman’s name

Bingley

Kitty: But married or single

Oh single, my dears, to be sure. A single man of large fortune, four or five thousand a year

Jane: (smiling) oh dear

Hush Lizzy. What a fine thing for our girls

Mr Bennet: And is that his design in settling here?

Design? Nonsense. But it is not unusual that a young man may fall in love

Lydia: Though he must be a soldier in a red regimental jacket

You must visit him as soon as he comes

Mr bennet: Which perhaps will be still better for as you are as handsome as any of them, Mr. Bingley might likeyou for the best of the party

Well, I certainly have my share of beauty, but when a woman has five grown up daughters she ought to give over ideas of her own attractions

Mr Bennet: In such cases, a woman has not often much beauty to think of

But consider your daughters, think what an establishment it would be for one of them. You must go, for it will be impossible for us to visit him, if you do not

Mr. Bennet: You are over scrupulous surely. I will send a few lines by you to assure him of my hearty ocnsent to his marrying whicheer he chooses

Mr Bennet you ake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion on my poor nerves

Mr Bennet: My dear, I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends

Ah, you do not know what I suffer

Mr Bennet: But i hope you will get over it, and live to see many young men of four thousand a year come into the neighborhood

It will be of no use to us, if twenty such should come, since you will not visit them

Mr Bennet:Capital Lydia, I hope mr Bingley will like it

We are not in a way to know what mr Bingley likes, since we are not to visit

Elizabeth: You forget that we shall meet him at the assemblies, and that Mrs. Long has promised to introduce him

I do not believe Mrs Long will do any such thing. She has two nieces of her own

Lydia: And plain as cake both of tem

She is a selfish, hypocritical woman, and i have no opinion of her

Mr Bennet: indeed, but let us return to mr bingley

And I say I am sick of Mr. Bingley

Mr Bennet: My dear, why did you not tell me so before. If I had know as much this morning i certaily would not have alled on him

Called on him . Called on him?

Oh Papa!

Truly Father?

Now see what an excellent father you have girs. But I knew I should persuade you at east

Darcy: She is tolerable, but that is insufficient to tempt me. Pray return to Miss Bennet, you are wasing your ime wih me

Oh my dear Mr Bennet, we have a most excellent ball. jane is so admired and Mr Bingley danced with her TWICE. Then the third he turned to Miss King, the fourth with Maria Lucas, the fifth with Jane again, the sixth with…

Elizabeth: H is also handsome which a young man should be if he possibly can

I can hardy explain to ou the shocking rudeness of Mr Darcy

Elizebath: Did not you? compliments alwasy take you by surprise and me never

I can assure you that Lizzy loses nothing by not suiting that Mr Darcy’s fancy; for he is a disagreeable horrid man

Jane: I would not wish to be hasty in censuring anyone

Your mr Darcy is so high and conceited that there is no enduring him. Lizzy not handsome enough to dance with. Oh, I quite detest the man

Lydia: Within a short walk of longbourn lived a family with whom we were particulary intimate

(to the audience) Sir William Lucas, Formerly in trade in Meryton, had made a tolerable fortune and risen to the honor of knighthood.

Kitty: And gives wo balls a season

Lady lucas was a very good woman and not too clever which I find restful

Nay I shall consider the matter as absolutely settled

Indeed you are a scamp and a rogue sir william. You make me laugh (tehe)

Miss Binglye: You will have a charing mother in law indeed laugh ou will have the pleasure of her alwasy being at Pemberly with you

Mr Bennet, you must hear what this mischievous fellow is saying

Jane: May I have the carriage father

MR BENnet: OF course

Indeed not. It would be much better jane to go on horseback for the weather looks ill and you might have the good fortune to be thoroughly soaked and stay longer with the Bingleys in ill health

Jane had not been gone long when it rained torrents (thunder boom)

That was a lucky idea of mine indeed

Mr BEnnet: well my dear if your daughter should have a dangerous fit of illness adn die, it would bea comfort to know that it was all in pursiuit of mr bingley and under your orders

Nonsense. People do not die of little trifling colds, and the inconvenience Mr Bennt, is worth the priez

Elizabeth: The horses are wanted on the farm I will walk. The distance is nothing hwen one has a motive; only 3 miles

You cannot go jumping over stiles and arrive with dirty stockings

Elizbeth: Jane at least, will forgive me mother

MR BENNNT

Lydia: on sunda the carriage was sent and Jane and ELizabeth returned home. Mamma, I fear, was not very cordial to them

I cannot for the life of me see elizabeth why you had to rush Jane home

Mr Bnenet: well I for one am gratified, our evening conversation hd lost much of its animation and almsot all its sense

Mr Benet

MR Bnennt': My dear, I hope that you have ordered a good dinner today, because I have reason to expect an addition to our family parthy

Is it mr Bingley? Why Jane, you never dropped a word of this-you sly thing

Mr BEnnet: The injeritance of my property is limited to male heirs, and I ,having produced none, my cousin Mr collins has becoem the legla recipient

Pray do not talk of tha todious man and this odious legality. It is monstrous that your estate should be entailed awya from your own children

COLLINS: I doubt not seeing them, as i might say, o be well disposed of in marriage

You are very kind sir, and i wish wiht all my heard that it may prove so, for else tey will be destitute enough

Connnils: Surely you will agree that htis atonement is an excelent one both generous and disinterested on my part

INDEED

COLLINS: i very mch approve your eldest

Jane

Conlins. Indeed i conceive her both fetching and decorous. She should do quite niely adn seniority mst be served

Jane. Sir, as to my younger daughters i cannot take it upon myslef to say ut I know of no predispositions. concerning my eldest daughter

Collins; Jnae?``

Jane

Colln: jane

I feel it incumbent to ay she is very likely to be soon engaved

Collins I see. And the next in age?

ELizabeth

COLNS: Elizabeth, es,, Very forthright and not at all unpresentable

done

Lydia: MR Goerge wickham, Papa

plesed

Elizabeth: Well that at least promises the felicity whihc a marriage of true affections can bestow

Ah Miss bingley. Im sure i needn’t enumerate the advandages to such a match

Elizabeth: MAMA

Such an advantage living but three miles apart and such a comfort knowing how fond ou are of jane

Elizabeth: Sadly our cariage waits

BUT

COLLINS: I solicit the honour of a private audience wiht her in the course of this morning

WHat? Oh yes… I see… Dear me… yes certainy. A private audience, I see the drift. Dear Mr Collins, I am sure Lizzy will be very happy- I am sure she can have no objection. A private audience! come kitty i want you upstairs

Elizabeth: Dear madam, do not go

NOt go?

ELIZBAETH: he can have nothing to say to me tha naybodaiy cannot hear. I am oing away myself

Nonsense lizzy i desire you will stay where you are. LIZZY I INSIST upon your staing and hearing mr Collins. ComE KITty STAY

COllins: you are uniformly charming:

Dear Mr collins allow me to be the first to congadulate you

She has begun delightfully wiht a refusla

A REFUSALO

ut of bashful modest and the genuine delicacy of her character

MR BENNET U R WANTED IMMEDIATELY. FOolish girl she does not know her wn interest

Headstrong

But I will make her know it

COLLINS: she culd not contribute much to my falicity

MR Bennet you MUST come and make lizzy marry MR CollIns for she vows she will not have him

BR NETT: I have not the pleasure of understanding you

… and mr colins begins to say he will not have lizzy. LIZZY

MR BENNET adn what amm i to do on the occasion

Why tell her you insist upon her marrying him

MR BENNET: If you do not marry mr collins and I will never seeing you again if you do

I tell you what miss lizzy go on in this way and you will never get a husband at all-and i am sure i do not know who is to maintain you when your father is dead…. - oh mr collins

COLLIns: REsination is never so perfet as when the blessing is denied begins to lose its value in our estimation

Miss lizzy i shall simply say that I will never speak to you again and you will find me as good as my word. I have no pleasure in talking to undutiful children

Lydia: And as mamma said

Cared not how that establishment was gained

Charolette: You must come and visit the parsonage as soon as you ever an

Ad i tell you Mr collins has been taken in! worse , elizabeth I am sure, is hte cause of al the mischiefN

MR BENENT: No

I tell ou we are in a pitiable state. because of the entail charlotte lucas will be mistress of this house and I will be forced to make wa for her and live to see her take my place in it